Dr. Louis' Blog

Dear Dr. D'

My students do not know how to put quoted material in their essays? Can you help me?

Margaret

Dear Margaret,

My friend, Shelly Cook, calls this strategy "Avoiding the Kerplunk Effect," and I love that phrase! Yes, let's talk about how to seamlessly embed quotations, a skill that is not only a valuable skill for literary analyses, but also a standard in most states and certainly in the Common Core State Standards. Let me share with you Jane's solution which is found in all of the guides. She calls it Transition/Lead-in/Concrete Detail, or TLCD.

Instructions for Students:

1. Choose your quotation CD and write it on the Quotation lines on your Tchart.
2. Think of the lead-in by asking yourself, “What happens in the story right before the quote?”
3. Use one of these starter words to begin the lead-in and write it on the Lead-in lines on your Tchart:

1. After
2. Since
3. Although
4. When
5. As
6. While
7. Before

I tell the students that the test of a well-placed embedded quotation is that if I close my eyes and ask a student to read his or her sentence, I should not be able to tell when the writer's voice ends and the quote begins.

Then, I take the students to YouTube and the AllState commercial where the AllState's spokesperson's voice replaces the speaker's voice. It's the same feel with embedded quotations.

Here are few examples:

‍High School Example:

Prompt: In Act 1, Scenes 5-7 of William Shakespeare’s drama, The Tragedy of Macbeth, Lady Macbeth is the driving force behind her husband’s resolve to murder King Duncan.  In a well-organized two-chunk paragraph (1:2+), analyze the extent to which Lady Macbeth rejects her femininity to further her pursuit of power. List of CDs Selected:

• “Bellona’s bridegroom” (Mac. 1.2.54)
• “You should be women,/And yet your beards forbid me to interpret/That you are so” (Mac. 1.3.45-47)
• “Against the use of nature” (Mac. 1.3.137).

1. In Scene 2, Ross describes Macbeth as “Bellona’s bridegroom" (Mac.1.2.54), and in mythology, Bellona is the goddess of war. 
2. When Banquo and Macbeth come upon the “Weird Sisters,” Banquo is confused by the appearance of the witches who “should be women,/And yet [their] beards [. .  .]” suggest otherwise. (Mac. 1.3.45-47)
3. Macbeth believes that his thoughts of murdering King Duncan are “[a]gainst the use of nature” (Mac. 1.3.137).

Middle School Example

"Pancakes" by Joan Bauer

Jill views herself as a perfectionist and has high expectations for herself. A teenager who works at Ye Olde Pancake House as a waitress, Jill is hired to replace a disorganized waitress because Jill is “a person of order” with a “system for everything [. . .], even alphabetizing condiments.

”Elementary School Example

‍Cinderella must do all the "cooking, cleaning, and sewing by herself" (2).

Keep Reading and Writing!

Warm regards,

Dr. D' 

Week Three: Some of you might have asked your students to come to class today having watched a sports event on the weekend and bringing examples of play-by-play CDs and color commentator CMs. If so, use the first half of the class having them write samples in a carousel fashion on paper attached to the walls of the classroom (with music, of course) and then reviewing the accuracy of their findings.

Before we begin, you'll notice that I have not divided Week Three into Days. Teachers have different schedules and interruptions. The list below can be done in five days. I've bolded nice starting points. Some of you might complete it in less time; some of you might need more time. The key is to "TAKE YOUR TIME."

Solicit questions. Don’t let them sit in those desks for more than 15-20 minutes without having them get up and move – Suggestion: GoNoodle.com– music and brain breaks!

1. Give the students two handouts: the color-coded paragraph you presented last week (p. 44) and a blank “Gathering CDs” graphic organizer. If you cannot copy the color-coded paragraph in color, then copy it in black-and-white; but then have your students highlight (blue, pink, green) or underline (blue, red, green) the document as a review.
2. Gathering CDs – 

1. Review your PowerPoint® slide on CDs; 
2. Quiz students on the four places where CDs can be found; 
3. Do some kind of fun activity about “pointing” and then email me that activity to add to the newsletter (info@louisconcepts.com); 
4. Have the students list the CDs from the model; 
5. Review your rules about using evidence from the internet (if you want to know my rules, email me a question (info@louisconcepts.com), and I’ll feature it on Writing with Dr. D’); 
6. Have the students circle or label which CD or CDs were chosen (depending on which mode and ratio you are using), and 
7. Explain the importance of the decision-making process when choosing which CD(s) are the best to use (e.g., supports the TS; generates CM[s], resonates with audience [ethos]).

• Give the students p. 36 and explain Thesis. Note: For ELA teachers, explain how each type of Thesis Statement has a different purpose (complex sentence vs. compound sentence vs. three-pronged framed thesis). 
• Give the students the model (p. 37). Explain how writers need to write the thesis sentence for both sides of the argument and talk through those thesis sentences.
• Show them how the reasons on each side of the argument are blue and will become topic sentences. Notice how the numbers are in red; they represent the numbering of the CDs and assigning which CDs would go well with the different reasons. Explain that the selection of the topic sentences should be based on the CDs; if you have two or three CDs that go with a TS, then that TS is a good one to use because ample evidence (CDs) exist to support that reason (TS). Select one Reason and the CDs. This information will go to the Tchart.
• Give the students a blank T-chart (Use the one without the CA/CCA); we’re working with a model first. 
• To avoid confusion with color-coding and before your write anything or show the model, place a blank Tchart on your doc camera, and with you as their guide, have the students circle TS in blue; CD column heading in red; and CM column heading in green.
• Go through the steps on p. 39. Note: As they copy the simple model TS, remind them that it is a “working TS” or a “throw-away TS.” It focuses the Tchart, but it’s not in its final state.
• Explain that by completing the Tchart in the process, they have completed their first drafts. 
• Give the students two handouts: a blank “Shaping Sheet” and my “Transitions” handout. Tell them, “We’re going to ‘Move and Improve’ (from trainer Lauren Roedy-Vaughn).”
• Have them move (don’t say “Copy”) the information from the Tchart to the “Shaping Sheet,” revising the sentences as they move them (e.g., include more CMs from what they did not use – TS, CM, CS). Here, you may go beyond the model and let them do some revising on their own, adding transitions between sentences where necessary. Create complete sentences for the CDs.
• For ELA teachers, give the students three rules for editing and revision; for non-ELA teachers, focus on the TS to make sure it accomplishes what the prompt asks; and then look at the CDs and explain that determining the content of these cells is critical in presenting explanation/information.
• Completing the “Shaping Sheet” results in their second drafts!
• Move and Improve to the final draft (write or type in black-and-white or color), using the paragraph form (if writing) in your graphic organizers.

Contact me with questions. I'm here for you.

Dr. D'

Week Three: Some of you might have asked your students to come to class today having watched a sports event on the weekend and bringing examples of play-by-play CDs and color commentator CMs. If so, use the first half of the class having them write samples in a carousel fashion on paper attached to the walls of the classroom (with music, of course) and then reviewing the accuracy of their findings.Before we begin, you'll notice that I have not divided Week Three into Days. Teachers have different schedules and interruptions. The list below can be done in five days. I've bolded nice starting points. Some of you might complete it in less time; some of you might need more time. The key is to "TAKE YOUR TIME."

Solicit questions. Don’t let them sit in those desks for more than 15-20 minutes without having them get up and move – Suggestion: GoNoodle.com– music and brain breaks!

1. Give the students two handouts: the color-coded paragraph you presented last week (p. 44) and a blank “Gathering CDs” graphic organizer. If you cannot copy the color-coded paragraph in color, then copy it in black-and-white; but then have your students highlight (blue, pink, green) or underline (blue, red, green) the document as a review.
2. Gathering CDs – 

1. Review your PowerPoint® slide on CDs; 
2. Quiz students on the four places where CDs can be found; 
3. Do some kind of fun activity about “pointing” and then email me that activity to add to the newsletter (info@louisconcepts.com); 
4. Have the students list the CDs from the model; 
5. Review your rules about using evidence from the internet (if you want to know my rules, email me a question (info@louisconcepts.com), and I’ll feature it on Writing with Dr. D’); 
6. Have the students circle or label which CD or CDs were chosen (depending on which mode and ratio you are using), and 
7. Explain the importance of the decision-making process when choosing which CD(s) are the best to use (e.g., supports the TS; generates CM[s], resonates with audience [ethos]).

• Go to the bottom portion of “Gathering CDs” page. Using your model, have the students list the CM words that are in the color-coded model. Make sure they are using the proper colors.
• Label the TS in blue.
• Label the two CMs and explain the importance of the CM words being different but complementary. Jane had students number CM1 and CM2. Sometimes, depending on the students, I don’t have them label “1” or “2” until after the “WOW” chart. 
• Talk to the students about the importance of having the CMs complementary but different. Remember the example I gave you about “angry” and “frustrated” in our workshop? These examples are too similar and will generate repetitive commentary. 
• Give the students a blank Tchart.
• To avoid confusion with color-coding and before your write anything or show the model, place a blank Tchart on your doc camera, and with you as their guide, have the students circle TS in blue; CD column heading in red; and CM column heading in green.
• Have them write the simple model TS (Remember, I call it a “working TS” or a “throw-away TS.” It focuses the Tchart and includes the CM word from the “Gathering CDs” sheet, but it’s not in its final state.
• Have them complete the model for the Tchart and review the terms.   
• Give the students a blank “WOW” chart. 
• Go through the steps on p. 47. 

1. Now it’s time for the CS. You have two options: For those of you who attended the workshop with me, remember you can use the “WOW” sheet that generated the CMs to generate the CS, also, combining CMs not used on the left side with CMs not used on the right side; or
2. Give the students a blank “Webbing-off-the-Topic Sentence” (“WOTS”) chart and complete it by following the  steps on p. 51. 

• Explain that completing the “WOW” and “WOTS” graphic organizers results in their first drafts. 
• Give the students two handouts: a blank “Shaping Sheet” and my “Transitions” handout. Tell them, “We’re going to ‘Move and Improve’ (from trainer Lauren Roedy-Vaughn).”
• Have them move (don’t say “Copy”) the information from the Tchart to the “Shaping Sheet,” revising the sentences as they move them (e.g., include more CMs from what they did not use on their Tcharts – TS, CM, CS). Here, you may go beyond the model and let them do some revising on their own, adding transitions between sentences where necessary. Create complete sentences for the CDs.
• For ELA teachers, give the students three rules for editing and revision (e.g., p. 47); for non-ELA teachers, focus on the TS to make sure it accomplishes what the prompt asks; and then look at the CDs and explain that determining the content of these cells is critical in presenting explanation/information.
• Completing the “Shaping Sheet” results in their second drafts!
• Move and Improve to the final draft (write or type in black-and-white or color), using the paragraph form (if writing) in your graphic organizers.

Contact me with questions. I'm here for you.

Dr. D'

Week Three: Some of you might have asked your students to come to class today having watched a sports event on the weekend and bringing examples of play-by-play CDs and color commentator CMs. If so, use the first half of the class having them write samples in a carousel fashion on paper attached to the walls of the classroom (with music, of course) and then reviewing the accuracy of their findings.

Before we begin, you'll notice that I have not divided Week Three into Days. Teachers have different schedules and interruptions. The list below can be done in five days. I've bolded nice starting points. Some of you might complete it in less time; some of you might need more time. The key is to "TAKE YOUR TIME." Solicit questions. Don’t let them sit in those desks for more than 15-20 minutes without having them get up and move – Suggestion: GoNoodle.com– music and brain breaks!

1. Use the model prompt, “Tell about a time when you made a mistake.”
2. Give the students a blank “Tchart.”
3. To avoid confusion with color-coding, place the blank Tchart on your doc camera, and with you as their guide, have the students circle TS in blue; CD column heading in red; and CM column heading in green.
4. Pull a popular novel, short story, or chapter book off the shelf and read the first chapter. At the beginning of the story, the reader can begin picturing the setting, the characters, and the plot. Tell the students that this visual picture in their minds unfolds because of the details in the story. This picture is what they want to create when they are writing/telling a story to their audiences. It happens through the details, and this reason is why the ratio is what it is.
5. Use the model on p. 92 to demonstrate the Tchart process for the beginning paragraph of the model paragraph. Students copy each part, and you explain again the importance of details when writing a narrative. Return to the novel, short story, or chapter book and have them highlight the details/images that relate to the “Tchart.”
6. One mistake that is often made when beginning this process is that teachers and students think that the Tchart is about the whole story; it’s not. It delves into the beginning only. You will work through a Tchart for the middle part of the story and again for the end of the story. Yes, there might be some repetition, but if you will tell the students to “go deeper” as the story unfolds, then, hopefully, the story will evolve, and the characters and events will be visualized in the imagination of the reader. Each section of the story will have a “Tchart.” Completing the Tchart results in their first draft of their first paragraph of the story.
7. For the CDs and CMs, review pp. 78 – 83 with the students.
8. Give the students two handouts: a blank “Shaping Sheet” and my “Transitions” handout. Tell them, “We’re going to ‘Move and Improve’ (from trainer Lauren Roedy-Vaughn).”
9. Have them move (don’t say “Copy”) the information from the Tchart to the “Shaping Sheet,” revising the sentences as they move them (e.g., include more CMs from what they did not use – TS, CM, CS). Here, you may go beyond the model and let them do some revising on their own, adding transitions between sentences where necessary. Create complete sentences for the CDs.
10. For ELA teachers, give the students three rules for editing and revision; for non-ELA teachers, focus on the TS to make sure it accomplishes what the prompt asks; and then look at the CDs and explain that determining the content of these cells is critical in presenting explanation/information.
11. Completing the “Shaping Sheet” results in their second drafts!
12. Move and Improve to the final draft (write or type in black-and-white or color), using the paragraph form (if writing) in your graphic organizers.
13. Then, repeat the process for the second body paragraph (middle of the story) and the third body paragraph (end of the story). Or, read through it together and then build a story together.

Contact me with questions. I'm here for you.

Dr. D'

Week Three: Some of you might have asked your students to come to class today having watched a sports event on the weekend and bringing examples of play-by-play CDs and color commentator CMs. If so, use the first half of the class having them write samples in a carousel fashion on paper attached to the walls of the classroom  (with music, of course) and then reviewing the accuracy of their findings. 

Before we begin, you'll notice that I have not divided Week Three into Days. Teachers have different schedules and interruptions. The list below can be done in five days. Some of you might complete it in less time; some of you might need more time. The key is to "TAKE YOUR TIME."

Solicit questions. Don’t let them sit in those desks for more than 15-20 minutes without having them get up and move – Suggestion: GoNoodle.com– music and brain breaks!

1. Give the students two handouts: the color-coded paragraph you presented last week (p. 22 Expos) and a blank “Gathering CDs” graphic organizer. If you cannot copy the color-coded paragraph in color, then copy it in black-and-white; but then have your students highlight (blue, pink, green) or underline (blue, red, green) the document as a review.
2. Gathering CDs – 

1. Review your PowerPoint® slide on CDs; 
2. Quiz students on the four places where CDs can be found; 
3. Do some kind of fun activity about “pointing” and then email me that activity to add to the newsletter (info@louisconcepts.com); 
4. Have the students list the CDs from the model; 
5. Review your rules about using evidence from the internet (if you want to know my rules, email me a question (info@louisconcepts.com), and I’ll feature it on Writing with Dr. D’); 
6. Have the students circle or label which CD or CDs were chosen (depending on which mode and ratio you are using), and 
7. Explain the importance of the decision-making process when choosing which CD(s) are the best to use (e.g., supports the TS; generates CM[s], resonates with audience [ethos]).

• Give the students a blank Tchart from the packet.
• To avoid confusion with color-coding, place the blank Tchart on your doc camera. Before they begin copying, and with you as their guide, have the students circle TS in blue; CD column heading in red; CM column heading in green, CM sentence in green, CS sentence in blue. This will remind them of the colors as they go through the thinking process.
• Go through the steps on p. 52. Note: As they copy the simple model TS, remind them that it is a “working TS” or a “throw-away TS.” It focuses the Tchart, but it’s not in its final state.
• Once you complete the CM side with them, remind them that an Expository paragraph has a ratio of 2+:1. “Look at all this commentary! We’ll take this commentary and 

1. revise the TS;
2. Create the one CM; and
3. Create the CS.

• Remind them as they are revising and creating sentences from their CMs, “When you use it, you lose it.” Make sure you proceed in the order (see the numbers in parentheses on the chart that show the order.
• Explain that by completing the Tchart in the process, they have completed their first drafts. 
• Give the students two handouts: a blank “Shaping Sheet” and my “Transitions” handout. Tell them, “We’re going to ‘Move and Improve’ (from trainer Lauren Roedy-Vaughn).”
• Have them move (don’t say “Copy”) the information from the Tchart to the “Shaping Sheet,” revising the sentences as they move them (e.g., include more CMs from what they did not use on their Tcharts – TS, CM, CS). Here, you may go beyond the model and let them do some revising on their own, adding transitions between sentences where necessary. Create complete sentences for the CDs.
• For ELA teachers, give the students three rules for editing and revision (e.g., p. 47); for non-ELA teachers, focus on the TS to make sure it accomplishes what the prompt asks; and then look at the CDs and explain that determining the content of these cells is critical in presenting explanation/information.
• Completing the “Shaping Sheet” results in their second drafts!
• Move and Improve to the final draft (write or type in black-and-white or color), using the paragraph form (if writing) in your graphic organizers.

Contact me with questions. I'm here for you.

Dr. D'

Jane's #4 Non-Negotiable: Common Terminology for the Paragraph and Essay Helps Students Learn.

‍In my years of teaching, I have witnessed the frustration of students who go from one class to another and are required to learn new terminology for the exact same skill. I highly recommend, whether you use Jane Schaffer or not, that you develop a common terminology for writing across-the-curriculum. For those of you who are JSWP aficionados and aficionadas, my recommendation for week two is to present a sentence-by-sentence PowerPoint® presentation like we do in our trainings. In a 50-minute class, I would divide it this way:

Day 1: 15 minutes -- Indenting, Topic Sentence, Concrete Detail (Students have a paragraph form. They copy the sentences and take notes about each one - pick it up at the end of the class and check that they are copying correctly and taking notes -- put a value on i -- if we don't value it, they won't -- 10 points toward the end of the week formative assessment grade.)

Day 2: 15 minutes -- Commentary, Concluding Sentence (Continue with copying and note-taking -- 20 points)

Day 3: 15 minutes -- Ratio and Chunking (30 points)

Day 4: 15 minutes -- The Terms Chart (Have the students highlight each column in the correct color and discuss the sports analogy for play-by-play announcer and color commentator.)

Day 5: 40 minutes -- Definitions (20 minutes - Review Activity: Create a carousel around the room; or divide them into groups of four and have them jigsaw Topic Sentence, Concrete Detail, Commentary, Concluding Sentence); 20-minute quiz -- 40 points

You notice that I do not do all of it in one day. Writing is about Thinking. Let me say this again: Writing is about Thinking. Students need some time to internalize these terms. Also, we know that varying activities engages students. So, you wouldn't want 7-16 year olds taking notes for 40 minutes at a time (Day 1, 2, and 3 above).

However, if you're asking me, "What will I do the rest of the class?" My answer is to go to a nonfiction article, one that is well-written (published, copyrighted) and has content about which the students will be engaged and 1) Day 1 --Color-code in blue the TS and in red the concrete details; Day 2 -- Take the same article and color code the CMs and CS'; Day 3 -- Present one to three prompts to the students on a novel or drama they are about to undertake and show them how to decode it into ratios and chunking; Day 4 -- Divide the students into cooperative learning groups of CDs and CMs. While you use video to show highlights of a recent television presentation of a national baseball or football game, have the CD students listen and write in red the play-by-play announcements. After the video, let the CD quads (four at at a table) discuss their findings and select the top two to share with the class (If you have ClassFlow or something like it, they can send it to the interactive white board -- if not, you or a scribe write it on the board or doc camera; likewise, have the CM students listen and write in green the commentary from the announcers. After the video, let the CM quads discuss their findings a and select their top two to present to the class. You, the facilitator, make sure they understand the difference.