Dr. Louis' Blog

Dear Dr. D,

I've been researching expository writing and keep getting this type of definition: Expository writing is devoid of descriptive detail and opinion. It contains just the facts.

How can I reconcile that statement with the Schaffer method? 

Thanks, Annette

Dear Annette,

Interesting.

Aristotle deserves much of the credit for initially classifying the modes of discourse into deliberative, forensic, and epideictic. Over the years, however, teachers and professors have delimited the modes to help teach writing. Typically, they are divided into four categories: argumentation, narrative, literary analysis, and expository. We all know that the modes are not as mutually exclusive as some would think; certainly, an argument may have description, analysis, and even narration. However, let's get to your question. "Expository" is too broad of a term to give such a narrow definition as the above one.

There are many different forms of exposition: process analysis, exemplification, definition, classification and division, comparison and contrast, cause and effect, and problem and solution, to name the most popular. Look at that topic sentence handout that I gave you. You’ll see some of the various forms, topic sentence examples, and prompt suggestions.

The definition you provide lends itself to the type of expository writing that does not require commentary or analysis (e.g., explaining a process, explaining a plot, providing an accounting of what was taught in class today, inductive reasoning by giving examples only). It sounds like one that would be given by a teacher in the sciences and social sciences who might first ask her/his students to describe something, perhaps a behavior or phenomenon. Her/his next step might be to take the evidence and look at causes and effects. The final step might be to create an argument about it. So, the definition you are giving me suggests that it might be part of a progression –the first part, or providing the facts. In other words, first, writers collect the evidence (expository), then they might evaluate it (argumentation).

Expository comes from the word “expose.” The prefix “Ex-” comes from Greek through Latin and means “out, or away from.” The root of the word comes from the Latin verb ponere which means “to place.” Translated literally, exposition means “to place out,” and what we are placing out is the information. So, I can see why some would argue that it is fact only. However, the definition you provide is not the norm for state and national standards that ask students to analyze the information they present – also considered expository/explanatory.

Keep reading and writing!

Happy New Year,

Dr. D'

Dear Dr. D',

What do I tell my department when they would like to change the ratios from what they were taught? 

Frustrated Department Chair

‍

‍Dear Frustrated,

Your question is one which I address on a regular basis; and, now you have given me the opportunity to blog it. New teachers to the writing program have a tendency to change or customize the ratios for specific assignments. Sometimes, depending on the students, it works. Most of the time, however, changing the tried and true ratios reduces the effectiveness and authenticity of student writing and, more importantly, confuses the students.The ratios should remain pure:

• 1:2+ is for literary analysis, style analysis, and rhetorical analysis
• 2+:1 is for expository, narrative, argumentation, synthesis
• 3+:0 is for a summary that requires no commentary
• 1:1 is for the DBQ in AP social studies

Please trust me on this. Since 1984, we have reviewed essays from AP tests, college entrance examinations, and state and national tests. These ratios earn the highest scores. Instead of changing the ratios, your teachers and their students will fare well if teachers make their expectations clearer in the writing prompts and the scoring guides. Let me provide you with examples of both: The writing prompt. I have had the privilege and pleasure of training a wonderful science teacher named Brandon, and he told me that he wanted his ninth grade students, who had just recently been trained in the JSWP method, to write summaries in which they demonstrated their knowledge of the five different elements of scientific inquiry. Therefore, Brandon asked me if his ratio could be 5:0 for a summary response.

My response to Brandon -- Let's keep the ratio 3+:0, so the student recognizes the type of writing s/he is doing, but explicitly give the instructions this way:

Here is his prompt:  Science is a way of thinking, questioning, and gathering evidence. Read 1.3 “Scientific Thinking and Processes.” Then, write a one-chunk (3+:0) summary response that identifies the (5) different elements of scientific inquiry. A concluding sentence is not required.

The scoring guide or point system. Another wonderful teacher, Alison, said, "Deborah, when I write 2+, the students only write two sentences. How do I motivate them to write more?"

My response to Alison -- 1) Work more with the Tchart, so the students will have more fodder for sentences; and 2) Send the students a clear message about your expectations regarding the number of sentences – something like this --

• 2 simple sentences = highest score is a C
• 3 simple sentences = highest score is a B
• 4 or more simple sentences = highest score is an A

More importantly, when they learn “types of sentences,” provide a scoring guide that assesses their learning of sentence types:

• Simple sentences only = 2 points
• A combination of 2 or more simple, compound, or complex sentences = 3 points
• A combination of 2 or more simple, compound, or complex sentence combined with 1 or more compound-complex sentences = 5 points

Finally, adding “chunks” is also a way to “get more” from those noggins . . .Write a well-developed multiparagraph essay

• Ratio: 1:2+
• 1-3 chunks per paragraph

Of course, the writing scores are also contingent on the content of their sentences, not simply the number or the types of sentences, and that’s why you stipulate “highest score” or "points." But the “types of sentences” option truly increases the sophistication of the writing, even without weaving. (By the way, with regard to scoring guides, I am working on a new scoring guide that emulates gaming; students receive points and status.)In English Language Arts (ELA) classes, teach the sentence types to the class as a whole and make the above grading stipulations a formative assessment. The “Shaping Sheet” is a wonderful graphic organizer for you and your students to examine the “types;” to provide one-on-one conferences for relearning; and, to display models of sentence variety before moving on to final drafts. Then, after they have practiced with “types,” add the weaving technique for those individual students who are ready. This works well!

Keep reading and writing!

Warm regards,

Dr. D'

Dear Dr. D',

"Our Scope and Sequence is huge, and I do not know how to get everything done and include the Jane Schaffer Writing Program, too. Help!! I'm drowning!" LisaDear Lisa,

Most teachers feel the same as you about the time crunch with or without JSWP. I know I did, and I became so frustrated at times. Between the Scope and Sequence, the State test, the daily class disruptions and interruptions, the unpredictable field trips, and the loads of paperwork, I sometimes felt like I would drown. I wish an easy answer were available to you. Let me see if I can assuage some of your frustrations.

When I started feeling overwhelmed, the first question I asked myself was “What must my English Language Arts students be able to do to 1) complete this year; 2) graduate from high school; 3) enter and sustain college (if they choose to attend); and 4) become productive global citizens?

The second question is “What can I control?”

‍MY HUMBLE SOLUTION: I like to look at a literary work we are reading in and/or out-of-class. That work could be a novel, a drama, a short story, a poem, or an essay. It could also be a passage. I have written quite a bit in this blog, so you might need to read a little here and there.

1)Vocabulary – Look at the work and pull the vocabulary words which you know your students will not understand upon first reading. Create a list and give it to them. Review it aloud. You will test them over this list, focusing on the first ten words the first week; the first twenty words, the second week; the first thirty words, the third week (select twenty words out of the thirty); the first forty words, the fourth week (select twenty words out of the first forty). Spelling – two points; definition – three points. Next week's Blog will be devoted to a Vocabulary unit developed by me and Mrs. Nancy Sharma of North Richland Hills, Texas.

2)Writing – Create one or more prompts (I like the students to have a variety of prompts from which to choose, and I would rather read paragraphs/essays on different topics than 150 on the same topic – Ugh!).See my previous Blog on creating effective prompts.Notice, I said paragraphs OR essays. Sometimes we think that we have to assign entire essays. The key is to have them write as often as possible, and these experiences can be effective, short, and easy to score.

1. As they read, you could have them create and submit each week the CDs that support their topic, embedded as direct quotations in complete sentences. Discerning strong evidence and embedding it properly in a sentence is a valuable skill that needs much practice. The grading is fast and valuable with immediate feedback.
2. You could have them submit their Tchart for one body paragraph (CDs written in complete sentences). Stagger your due dates. For example, Period 1: Due on Monday; Period 2: Due on Tuesday; Period 3: Due on Wednesday, etc.  Stagger due dates, so you don’t have 150 – 220 pieces of writing at once.
3. You could have them submit all of the graphic organizers, including the Shaping Sheet, for one paragraph.
4. You could have them create and submit a thesis statement.
5. You could have them submit the introduction only (with the thesis).

3)Grammar – For those of you who have taken my training or read my previous blog on writing prompts, you'll remember how I suggested that you create mini lessons in your prompts to discuss with your students grammar, usage, or syntax. AS you read the prompt(s) to the students, identify grammatical constructions on which your students need practice. Tell the students that they are going to work on one or two grammar lessons with each prompt. You demonstrate that grammar, usage, or syntactical phrase or structure in your prompt. Then tell them, "Students, on your Shaping Sheet, (or in the final draft of the paragraph or essay), you will highlight (or draw arrows) and label your demonstration of knowledge of those grammar lessons you have learned." The following list provides some ideas for you to model and assign:

1. Agreement: P/A; S/V;
2. Vary your types of sentences: highlight and label an example of a simple, compound, complex, and/or compound-complex sentence (or have them highlight only simple for the first paragraph; simple and compound for the second paragraph; simple, compound, and complex for the first essay; simple, compound, comples, and compound-complex for all future essays);
3. Commas: insert a comma between two independent clauses that are joined with a coordinating conjunction; use a comma after a long introduction (dependent clause, long prepositional phrase . . .) at the start of a sentence; use two commas to set off “grammatically unnecessary” information from the rest of the sentence; use a comma after each item in a series;
4. Syntax: parallelism – demonstrate parallel structure with three or more words on either side; repetition – demonstrate your understanding of anaphora; loose vs. periodic sentences;
5. Vary your sentence openings: Start a sentence with a noun, a pronoun, an article, a gerund, an infinitive, an adverb, a participle, an adverb clause, an expletive, a prepositional phrase, a noun clause, an adjective.

4)Reading – As they read aloud or alone, they should use their red and green pens to annotate (like we do in the training). If they may not write in their books, create a dialectical journal as they write with CDs on the left of the Tchart and CMs on the right of the Tchart.5)Speaking – Once a week or every other week, while they are reading, each student brings a Level Two or Level Three question to class (for a grade). Set up your classroom on those days in Connie Abshire’s Inner/Outer activity. Train them to take turns speaking, pausing, encouraging others, praising each other, discussing the work (great social and academic skills -- remind them that their discussion (CM) must be based on evidence (CD) from the work).You might ask, “But what about preparing the students for the state test, Dr. D?”

‍Expository Create your writing prompts to do that. If the writing is expository, then think of the subjects in the text you are reading. For example, in Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the following are only a few of the subjects in this 19th century novel that could resonate even today:

• What qualities make a good father
• Knowing the difference between right and wrong
• Friendship
• Importance of family
• Judging another person

(Remember, the above phrases are subjects, not themes. Themes answer the question, “What would the author (in this case, Mark Twain) say about the qualities that make a good father?" One answer: A father figure protects, shows affection, tells the truth, and never abandons a child.)Have them write an essay on one of these subjects: Sample prompt: Families come in many different shapes and forms. Using your observation, experience, and reading, explain what makes a family and how it impacts a person's life. If you use a real-life observation, consider a 2+:1 ratio. For your reading example, consider using a 1:2+ ratio. Provide strong evidence (CDs) and thoughtful commentary (CMs) to support your ideas.

‍Argumentation Or think of some controversial issues in the text (that's why I love using large pieces, such as novels and dramas -- so rich with options). How about using a 1987 prompt that would lend itself well to Huck Finn?

‍In the following passage, E.M. Forster argues that personal relations are more important than causes or patriotism. Read the passage carefully. Then write an essay agreeing or disagreeing with Forster’s views. I hate the idea of causes, and if I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country. Such a choice may scandalise the modern reader, and he may stretch out his patriotic hand to the telephone at once and ring up the police. It would not have shocked Dante, though. Dante places Brutus and Cassius in the lowest circle of Hell because they had chosen to betray their friend Julius Caesar rather than their country Rome. --Forster's "What I Believe" is published in: Forster, E.M.,Two Cheers for Democracy,ISBN 0-15-692025-5.

Assignment: Have the students submit the JSWP graphic organizers and include the counter argument and refutation on the Shaping Sheet. You could have them write an introduction and a thesis statement and two body paragraphs with one being from the reading (Huck Finn) and the other from an observation or experience. Use 2+:1 ratio.Finally, Lisa, what helped me tremendously occurred when I began integrating the skills and concepts in the Scope and Sequence (S&S) rather than taking them on individually and making them mutually exclusive from other skills and concepts in the S&S. This takes time to plan, but saves time -- and even more important -- creates quality time! The rewards are huge!

I hope this helps!

Keep reading and writing!

Warm regards,

Dr. D'

Dear Dr. D',

"I have a question regarding last year's 7th grade Expository STAAR® Prompt.  We just took our 2015 benchmark (MOCK STAAR) and I am reading the students' essays.  I am a bit confused about how they would have come up with a specific concrete detail to write about with this prompt.  The prompt is "Write an essay explaining the importance of having a good friend."  I am unsure of the types of things that I would see in the Specific Concrete Detail box.  Some students spoke of others who were friends, but did not focus on why it is important to have a friend.  With essays like "Explain the importance of never giving up" I can see how to get the concrete detail, but the good friend almost seems too personal to me."David

Dear David,

The State of Texas Assessment of Academic Readiness, known as the STAAR, requires its 4th, 7th, and 9th grade students to write a 26-line expository essay at the end of the school year. The challenge for the test makers is to design a prompt which is accessible to the minds of our 7th graders, so the test makers choose topics, such as friendship (2015) and laughter (2014), to engage students' ideas on topics with which they are familiar. Most 7th graders have at least one friend and tend to laugh frequently (albeit at inappropriate times -- but, hey, they're 7th graders!).

As teachers, our challenge is instructing the students on how to access their ideas and provide solid examples while still maintaining the expository mode of discourse. Too often, with these types of topics, our students easily lapse into a personal narrative.

So, here's what we do at JSWP to assist teachers:

STEP ONE: Teach the students to write in third person. This helps tremendously.

STEP TWO: Teach the students to generate solid examples outside of their personal experiences.

You'll remember in your training in August, David, that concrete details come from four different places:

1. What I have read;
2. What I have seen;
3. What I or someone else has done; and
4. What I or someone else has said (dialogue/famous quotations, etc.).

Another way of looking at "what I have read, seen, done, said" is to have students generate ideas and examples by using the acronym, GET HELP.G - Government (Politics, Candidates, Issues)E - Education (Science, Math, English, Social Studies)T - TV Shows (Sitcoms, Series)H - History (Famous Historical Events)E - Entertainment (Art, Movies, Social Media)L - Literature (Novels, Dramas, Short Stories, Poetry, Essays)P - Personal (Family, Friends, Hobbies, Goals)Now, let's look at the 2015 7th grade composition prompt again: "Write an essay explaining the importance of having a good friend."

• Friendships in Government: John Adams and Thomas Jefferson (statesmen)
• Friendships in Education: Science class - electrons and protons; seeds and flowers (a little twist on friendship . . .)
• Friendships on TV: Ariana Grande -- a show based on two friends who start a baby-sitting service to earn money; Friends sitcom with Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Ross
• Friendships in History: Meriwether Lewis and William Clark (trailblazers); Gertrude Stein and Ernest Hemingway
• Friendships in Entertainment: Han Solo and Chewbacca
• Friendships in Literature: Harry Potter by JK Rowling: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermonine Granger; Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck: George and Lennie (a little old for 7th grade, but 9th graders might use this one); The Giver by Lois Lowry: Jonas, Asher, and Fiona
• Personal Friendships: Each student would have his/her own.

You'll notice that "Personal Friendships" is last, and I'm happy it worked out that way in the acronym. I tell the students, "Use personal examples as your last resort, but use them, if necessary."

STEP THREE: There are two other types of sentences, critical in the body paragraphs, which help students to avoid the personal narrative: topic sentences and concluding sentences. Have the students start and end their body paragraphs with observations about the topic, not personal feelings. Reminder: A topic sentence (TS) has a subject (topic of the paragraph) and an opinion. The same may be said for the concluding sentence (CS); and, the concluding sentence gives a finished feeling.

• Good friends are reliable.  Not, I can rely on my best friend. (Note: Avoid first person in an expository essay.)  
• Good friends arrive when no one else will.
• Good friends make us laugh when we are down.

Notice in the last sentence, I use the "royal we" instead of allowing students to use that pesky second person pronoun, "you." The idea is to teach the students to return to their purpose -- explaining the importance of friendship. We do that when we remove ourselves from the topic and make statements known as universal truths.

On October 5, 2015, the personal narrative was removed from the test; so, I have recently revised our Middle School STAAR writing guide. Doing so gave me the opportunity to provide a few more models for teaching.

Wishing you a wonderful holiday season! See you next year!

Keep reading and writing!

Deborah (aka Dr. D')

Dear Dr. Louis,

I just wanted to say thank you for continuing Jane's vision, message, and programs.

In 1991, I was a drama major and former actor returning to my home in San Diego after two and a half years pursuing an acting career in Los Angeles (the highlight of which was my one line on General Hospital).  Before leaving for L.A., however, I had obtained my teaching credential at San Diego State University and upon my return began looking for work as a drama teacher.  But in 1991, teaching jobs were scarce and so I was working as a substitute teacher in my hometown of Santee when I first stepped onto the West Hills High School campus.  That first day, I could tell how different that school was from all of the other schools where I'd worked and I walked into the principal's office at the end of the day and said, "I just want you to know I'm home.  This is where I want to be."  I'm sure he thought I was crazy, and this was BEFORE I met Jane.

The school was still being built and because I was young and single, I could wait for West Hills to catch up to me.  I took every sub and temporary assignment at West Hills I could take. Eventually I got to know the staff, filled my  sub "dance card" with requests from the English department (including Jane), and even turned down other job offers in order to be available to West Hills.  I was even there the day they broke ground on their brand new theater, and I dreamed of being the West Hills drama teacher.  But as I said, I was still young and inexperienced, and they hired a woman with much more experience than I had. So instead, they hired me in the English department and that's when Jane became my department chairperson. And leader. And mentor. And friend.

What I tell everyone, and what I'm writing to tell you now, is that Jane took that young, inexperienced, scattered former drama major and actor, and (I'm not exaggerating here) turned him into a teacher.  She molded me and shaped me. I would not be where I am today without her guidance and training.

I just started my 23rd year at West Hills and have enjoyed every minute of it.  Though there have been bumpy times, even when Jane was there, as she was a brilliant, but complex woman, I am truly grateful that she was there in my life and, cliche that it is, I can say that she made me who I am today.

So I wanted to say thank you for continuing her work.  She changed the face of education and helped teachers around the country and around the world. I am STILL learning from her because I remember her going around the nation to do her workshops and I am starting (at the tender age of 52) to pursue the same thing now, to spread my own vision and message about how teachers deserve peace and simplicity in their lives and their classrooms in these crazy education times. The workshops are based on my book called The Zen Teacher:  Creating Focus, Simplicity, and Tranquility in the Classroom. I'm just starting out but, as usual, my experience with Jane is informing this new segment of my career yet again.

You probably know this, but for Jane, loyalty was everything.  So the fact that she entrusted her vision and program to you was her highest praise.

Thanks again.  Take care.  Thanks for listening.

Sincerely,

Dan Tricarico

www.thezenteacher.com

English Department

West Hills High School

We help students to find the right words. Without us, without education, the poverty of words can result in limited language expression and unrealized potential, and frequent frustration. So, I am always proud of teachers who build their students' vocabulary each day to help them express themselves more effectively. Because words are important!

I work with teachers every day, some of the greatest minds in the world! I'm not talking about celebrities; I'm talking about everyday teachers! And something that I would like us to do regarding "the power of language" is to stop allowing students to address us only as "Miss" or "Mister." In many classrooms all over the nation, instead of students calling us by our names, like Ms. Vaughn or Dr. Pena, students will just say, "Miss" or "Mister." For example, "Miss, where do I put this paper?"

You are an important person in the lives of your students and in the world. You are a TEACHER. You a re valuable. Please do not let your students devalue you and the profession by calling you the same name as what we would call a waitress whom we've never met!

As English teachers, we know the power of language. As historians, you have witnessed the effect of a historical motivating or misspoken word. As math and science teachers, you have seen what one wrong symbol can do to an equation or a chemical reaction, respectively. LANGUAGE IS IMPORTANT. I know you have a tremendous amount of work on your plate, and you're thinking, "Deborah, I have a lot more problems to deal with than this!" But I would like to convince you otherwise. How can you expect students, parents, administrators, and the global community to respect our profession when they don't even call us by our given names?

I remember the first time a student called me "Miss." It was in 1994. My head did a 360, and I turned to the young eleventh grade student and asked, "Why did you call me 'Miss?' My name is Ms. Louis."

"Well, it's easier to call you Miss, and our other teachers let us call them Miss."

"Really?!"

"Uh, huh."

"Well, I will call you Mr. Davis, and you will call me Ms. Louis. I will not answer to 'Miss,' just as I expect that you wouldn't want to answer to 'Hey, you'!"

(This was back when I was calling my eleventh grade students by their last names in order to raise the bar of formality and expectations among a teacher and her students. In the hallway, I called him Mark.)

If I were Aretha Franklin, I'd break out into R-E-S-P-E-C-T right now. As a teacher, I know how hard my colleagues work to better their students' lives, to better our nation's future. If you do not demand respect in your classroom, you will not get it.

I am thankful for the adults in my life who made me grow into the woman I am today. Trust me, it wasn't easy for any of them. So thank you, Mom and Dad. But also, thank you Mrs. Tanner (1st grade); Mrs. Lawrence (2nd grade); Mrs. Hyman (3rd grade); Mrs. Crews (4th grade Math); Mr. Crook (7th grade Social Studies); Mr. Kennemer (9th grade Biology); Mrs. Nickel (11th grade English); Mr. Wilbanks (12th grade Government) and Mrs. Simmons (12th grade English).When I say their names, they live and thrive again. They were important then, and they still are.

We will never rise in our professional status if we do not even have a name.

Keep writing, reading, and teaching!

Warm regards,

Dr. Louis (not "Miss")